Monday, December 14, 2009

dont you hate it when you try and help someone out, and they punch you?

Friday, November 27, 2009

Maritime Cloak Retriver(I dont think it was fake)

so the other day i was walking up to my old farm shack/castle, and i saw an amazing apparition that turned the whole goat green. when i tried to form words i realized that even a trench coat isn't immune to disease. that is when the revelation hit me.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Kindness to all. even those who are strange

Last night i was cooking and I noticed something peculiar. If you have read this blog you may know that this sort of thing happens a lot. Well, yesterday I was baking brownies(I borrowed the recipe from my friend Katepiva), and I noticed there were only 432 chocolate chips. you see there is normally 433. This obviously was extremekley bothersome because the recipe is ruined if you don't have all of them. So I through off my oven mits and rode on my pet partridge goat all the way to the CoPelle de rou store. If you are not familiar with this store,basically it is a store. When we got there, I ran really fast over to where they sell the food and there was something weird there too. there was a display. usually there is only food! So I was VERRRYYY mad. i waled in and tryed to speak, and thats when i realized there was no more room. at this poisnt i was very mad and i hurrumphed all the way to the counter. the person there said "may i help you?". and i said"yes". then he helped me find another brownie recipe to use. isn't that nice?

Friday, March 13, 2009

Radical theft-robber-theif!!!!!!

I ran into a toothpick salesman from Mars, and ended up buying nine sets of Frisbee polish from him. He was very gracious and told me he had never had a customer before. Then he was really worried and started worrying. I told him not to worry and then he stopped worrying. I bid him good fortune, and he gave me a sack of radish-flavored gum. He was too overcome for words so he went down on his head and performed a handstand, doing a neat front flip, flying onto a trapeze bar and falling with a crash onto a trampoline with which he sprung off of and ending with forty-seven back flips balancing onto his nose . Out of that simple gesture I could tell he was deeply grateful for all I had done to help him. I gave him a tissue, but he shoved it back and I understood. If I showed him another gesture of gratitude he would have to do another simple gesture. I said goodbye to him and he ran off leaving something behind. It didn't take a genius to find out who he was once I had seen the duck suit from within.
Fungus O'mallon had escaped once again.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Pottery Crisis!!!! Call 911!!!!!

I was running to school this morning and I got blown over by a wind storm. When I got back up there was nothing standing up, but a green and white feather. I investigated further and came to the conclusion that the bus had turned into a chicken and left a feather behind as a memoriam to all the goats that passed away during the Great Goat Storm of 1963.

That was when I decided to leave and go to school. This made me remember the time when I was a young girl and my Grandfather found me hiding in a wasp's nest. He was so mad he made me copy down my name three times! It took me so long to do it, by the time I was done I made the discovery that only 96 minutes had passed since I had last eaten a cream cheese-colored radish plant. I was very amused when a carrot the size of a carrot landed on the ground before me. When I tried to speak the carrot leaped up and said "I am from the great planet Robynne-Pamonia. I am here to rid the world of dinosaurs!"

I looked north and made sure the north pole was still in its rightful position. It was. I explained to the carrot that dinosaurs could be found in the South-East Pole. The carrot thanked me for my help and awarded me a badge of honor for helping a carrot in need. I accepted the award and gave it to the national awards museum. I found it in the museum trash a day later.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Fungus O'Mallon: The truth at last

These days I am very much interested in the truth of Fungus O'Mallon. I decided to configure a list about what I already know about him. Hopefully, then you might be able to notice patterns and report them to me. Think Hard! Here is the list:

-Shot me out of a cannon
-His friend asked me for a periscope
-Visited La Cortinada, Andorra
-When his feet hit the ground there was footsteps
-He owns a duck suit
-He jumped a foot in the air and asked for a cannon
-He went to a litter box via a cannon
-He exchanged a stump for a muffin

-He forgets his cannons sometimes
-He is a vegetarian

There! Notice any patterns? I will let you think on it for a while. Report with any news!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Weekend Watch!

Ok, I am still recovering from my most recent encounter with Fungus O'mallon. He crops up in the weirdest places. Well, anyway, today I was in the outskirts of La Cortinada, Andorra. I was doing a process to reawaken the corn spirits. They had fallen asleep you see. Well, the trick is to use a French onion and hop around a stump. I had done that and was waiting for something to happen. Sure enough, something did, but not what I was expecting.

A shower of shells fell on me and a sign stuck up at an erratic interval. It said "The goat is only as good as its cheese". Something on the sign struck me as odd so I took a closer look. The sign was held up by a small, and I mean very small, gnome. The gnome said "a pie for two", and thumped away. I caught a whiff of old socks as it ran away. Then, I heard something behind me. It was the sounds of footsteps. I whirled around, and tripped over the stump. My head spinning from the fall I looked up. There was a person in a duck suit staring at me. I recognized him at once. I exclaimed "Fungus O'mallon!". He did not acknowledge me, but jumped a foot into the sky and yelled "I need to borrow a cannon! Now!" I quickly withdrew my purse from a sack in a crate and handed him one of my spare cannons.

He exclaimed "To the litter box!" and shot out of the cannon. He was a small spec against the deep blue of the sky and I suddenly had the impression he had just been shot out of a cannon. I hurried away from the clearing and realized that the stump had disappeared and there was a muffin in its place. That was when I realized that Fungus O'mallan was a vegetarian.