Radical theft-robber-theif!!!!!!

I ran into a toothpick salesman from Mars, and ended up buying nine sets of Frisbee polish from him. He was very gracious and told me he had never had a customer before. Then he was really worried and started worrying. I told him not to worry and then he stopped worrying. I bid him good fortune, and he gave me a sack of radish-flavored gum. He was too overcome for words so he went down on his head and performed a handstand, doing a neat front flip, flying onto a trapeze bar and falling with a crash onto a trampoline with which he sprung off of and ending with forty-seven back flips balancing onto his nose . Out of that simple gesture I could tell he was deeply grateful for all I had done to help him. I gave him a tissue, but he shoved it back and I understood. If I showed him another gesture of gratitude he would have to do another simple gesture. I said goodbye to him and he ran off leaving something behind. It didn't take a genius to find out who he was once I had seen the duck suit from within.
Fungus O'mallon had escaped once again.

Pottery Crisis!!!! Call 911!!!!!

I was running to school this morning and I got blown over by a wind storm. When I got back up there was nothing standing up, but a green and white feather. I investigated further and came to the conclusion that the bus had turned into a chicken and left a feather behind as a memoriam to all the goats that passed away during the Great Goat Storm of 1963.

That was when I decided to leave and go to school. This made me remember the time when I was a young girl and my Grandfather found me hiding in a wasp's nest. He was so mad he made me copy down my name three times! It took me so long to do it, by the time I was done I made the discovery that only 96 minutes had passed since I had last eaten a cream cheese-colored radish plant. I was very amused when a carrot the size of a carrot landed on the ground before me. When I tried to speak the carrot leaped up and said "I am from the great planet Robynne-Pamonia. I am here to rid the world of dinosaurs!"

I looked north and made sure the north pole was still in its rightful position. It was. I explained to the carrot that dinosaurs could be found in the South-East Pole. The carrot thanked me for my help and awarded me a badge of honor for helping a carrot in need. I accepted the award and gave it to the national awards museum. I found it in the museum trash a day later.