Radical theft-robber-theif!!!!!!

I ran into a toothpick salesman from Mars, and ended up buying nine sets of Frisbee polish from him. He was very gracious and told me he had never had a customer before. Then he was really worried and started worrying. I told him not to worry and then he stopped worrying. I bid him good fortune, and he gave me a sack of radish-flavored gum. He was too overcome for words so he went down on his head and performed a handstand, doing a neat front flip, flying onto a trapeze bar and falling with a crash onto a trampoline with which he sprung off of and ending with forty-seven back flips balancing onto his nose . Out of that simple gesture I could tell he was deeply grateful for all I had done to help him. I gave him a tissue, but he shoved it back and I understood. If I showed him another gesture of gratitude he would have to do another simple gesture. I said goodbye to him and he ran off leaving something behind. It didn't take a genius to find out who he was once I had seen the duck suit from within.
Fungus O'mallon had escaped once again.