dont you hate it when you try and help someone out, and they punch you?

Maritime Cloak Retriver(I dont think it was fake)

so the other day i was walking up to my old farm shack/castle, and i saw an amazing apparition that turned the whole goat green. when i tried to form words i realized that even a trench coat isn't immune to disease. that is when the revelation hit me.

Kindness to all. even those who are strange

Last night i was cooking and I noticed something peculiar. If you have read this blog you may know that this sort of thing happens a lot. Well, yesterday I was baking brownies(I borrowed the recipe from my friend Katepiva), and I noticed there were only 432 chocolate chips. you see there is normally 433. This obviously was extremekley bothersome because the recipe is ruined if you don't have all of them. So I through off my oven mits and rode on my pet partridge goat all the way to the CoPelle de rou store. If you are not familiar with this store,basically it is a store. When we got there, I ran really fast over to where they sell the food and there was something weird there too. there was a display. usually there is only food! So I was VERRRYYY mad. i waled in and tryed to speak, and thats when i realized there was no more room. at this poisnt i was very mad and i hurrumphed all the way to the counter. the person there said "may i help you?". and i said"yes". then he helped me find another brownie recipe to use. isn't that nice?

Radical theft-robber-theif!!!!!!

I ran into a toothpick salesman from Mars, and ended up buying nine sets of Frisbee polish from him. He was very gracious and told me he had never had a customer before. Then he was really worried and started worrying. I told him not to worry and then he stopped worrying. I bid him good fortune, and he gave me a sack of radish-flavored gum. He was too overcome for words so he went down on his head and performed a handstand, doing a neat front flip, flying onto a trapeze bar and falling with a crash onto a trampoline with which he sprung off of and ending with forty-seven back flips balancing onto his nose . Out of that simple gesture I could tell he was deeply grateful for all I had done to help him. I gave him a tissue, but he shoved it back and I understood. If I showed him another gesture of gratitude he would have to do another simple gesture. I said goodbye to him and he ran off leaving something behind. It didn't take a genius to find out who he was once I had seen the duck suit from within.
Fungus O'mallon had escaped once again.

Pottery Crisis!!!! Call 911!!!!!

I was running to school this morning and I got blown over by a wind storm. When I got back up there was nothing standing up, but a green and white feather. I investigated further and came to the conclusion that the bus had turned into a chicken and left a feather behind as a memoriam to all the goats that passed away during the Great Goat Storm of 1963.

That was when I decided to leave and go to school. This made me remember the time when I was a young girl and my Grandfather found me hiding in a wasp's nest. He was so mad he made me copy down my name three times! It took me so long to do it, by the time I was done I made the discovery that only 96 minutes had passed since I had last eaten a cream cheese-colored radish plant. I was very amused when a carrot the size of a carrot landed on the ground before me. When I tried to speak the carrot leaped up and said "I am from the great planet Robynne-Pamonia. I am here to rid the world of dinosaurs!"

I looked north and made sure the north pole was still in its rightful position. It was. I explained to the carrot that dinosaurs could be found in the South-East Pole. The carrot thanked me for my help and awarded me a badge of honor for helping a carrot in need. I accepted the award and gave it to the national awards museum. I found it in the museum trash a day later.

Fungus O'Mallon: The truth at last

These days I am very much interested in the truth of Fungus O'Mallon. I decided to configure a list about what I already know about him. Hopefully, then you might be able to notice patterns and report them to me. Think Hard! Here is the list:

-Shot me out of a cannon
-His friend asked me for a periscope
-Visited La Cortinada, Andorra
-When his feet hit the ground there was footsteps
-He owns a duck suit
-He jumped a foot in the air and asked for a cannon
-He went to a litter box via a cannon
-He exchanged a stump for a muffin

-He forgets his cannons sometimes
-He is a vegetarian

There! Notice any patterns? I will let you think on it for a while. Report with any news!

Weekend Watch!

Ok, I am still recovering from my most recent encounter with Fungus O'mallon. He crops up in the weirdest places. Well, anyway, today I was in the outskirts of La Cortinada, Andorra. I was doing a process to reawaken the corn spirits. They had fallen asleep you see. Well, the trick is to use a French onion and hop around a stump. I had done that and was waiting for something to happen. Sure enough, something did, but not what I was expecting.

A shower of shells fell on me and a sign stuck up at an erratic interval. It said "The goat is only as good as its cheese". Something on the sign struck me as odd so I took a closer look. The sign was held up by a small, and I mean very small, gnome. The gnome said "a pie for two", and thumped away. I caught a whiff of old socks as it ran away. Then, I heard something behind me. It was the sounds of footsteps. I whirled around, and tripped over the stump. My head spinning from the fall I looked up. There was a person in a duck suit staring at me. I recognized him at once. I exclaimed "Fungus O'mallon!". He did not acknowledge me, but jumped a foot into the sky and yelled "I need to borrow a cannon! Now!" I quickly withdrew my purse from a sack in a crate and handed him one of my spare cannons.

He exclaimed "To the litter box!" and shot out of the cannon. He was a small spec against the deep blue of the sky and I suddenly had the impression he had just been shot out of a cannon. I hurried away from the clearing and realized that the stump had disappeared and there was a muffin in its place. That was when I realized that Fungus O'mallan was a vegetarian.

Ooooohhhhhh!

Wow, that was, just amazing! I just got back from the annual spinach contest, and it was brilliant. usually a total of 5,000,000 people. It is really exciting. Lots of people are considering stopping the Olympics and doing the annual Spinach contest instead. The Annual spinach contest is where 10,000,000 people submit designs for spinach monuments. Most of the time the judges can't decide which is the best so they are fired. Then no one can judge the spinach so all the people dump them in the monuent hall of fame. Normally there is so many monuments the hall of fame explodes and everyone gets mad. Then the judges come back and everyone leaves. Then everyone gets ready for the next year.

Maybe next year you can try to go! It really is an oppurtunity you can't miss in Loch Ness Monster. I visit Nadine all the time while I'm there, although she is never too happy when she is at the contest, because she is the top judge and it is tradition that the judges get fired in the first five minutes. She really can't hold onto a job too long. That is all, and try to go to the annual spinach contest. It only happens once a year!

Log Cabin Meltdown

wow, I still don't know exactly what happened because I was definitely flying in the sky, but when I came down I realized I had made a mistake. There was no rice to leave. When I made that discovery I came down with the flu. I asked my friend why, but she left before I could ask. This was a very odd thing for me to understand, until I realized it had all been a dream.

When it was over I woke up and was shot out of a cannon. You might wonder how I knew it was a canon. I knew because when I woke up a man told me "You will be shot out of a cannon". Plus, when I looked down there was this cannon-like object and it had the word cannon on it. So, you see, I was pretty sure it was a cannon.

That wasn't the weirdest part. I found out later that the man who had shot me out of the cannon's name was Fungus O'mallon. Before I could confront him I was shot out of the cannon.

Phenomenalistic birdfeeder pals

well, I was walking down the street and I saw a periscope sticking out of the ground. Before I could do anything some guy came up and said "Is this yours? Because I lost mine a week ago and I haven't found it. Of course, it could be my friend Fungus O'mallan's, but he usually keeps his by his toothbrush. It might be my sister's grandfather's but he lost his in a fight. My Uncle Gunk had one when he was a boy, but he accidentally left it in a rocket. Could it be yours?".

I said "No, you can have it," and walked up the alley. As I left I heard him bang on a shell and yell "Food coloring is for food, not tomato cans!"




**Pay attention to Fungus O'mallon because he is important later**

Who is that? Oh, it is a door knob scout

wow, I just escaped from this vivid dream where I was flying on a steed. Except it wasn't a steed. It was a pineapple. In the dream I was asking the fruit if I could run to the nearest town and stand on the podium. The fruit did not answer, but dropped me in the local garbage dump. I tried to get up, but some rocket-like substance launched me in to the sky. When I looked around I saw a tall marble statue of a toothpick. It was so majestic I almost fell into a container. When I looked up again the statue had vanished and replacing it was a large cathedral that resembled a bazooka tree. At this point I left and stopped at a cheeseburger stand.

I woke up and realized how weird the whole dream was. I tried for several hours to decipher it and came to the obvious conclusion. It was foretelling me I would soon meet a door-knob scout.

Pudding day

I had a bit of a pudding day today. Do you know what that is? I don't either, but I heard a person talking about it the other day. They were saying it was a place where you get corn stalks and sell them to goats. It sounded too complex to me so I left and tried to forget the conversation. I couldn't, as you will soon realize. As I was walking home from school I found out about something else that is directly linked to Pudding day, Papogalatchy. Papogalatchy is the study of pudding. In schools nation wide they introduced it as a world class. My friend Nadine is really good and she is always discussing it.

Well I found out and ran home only to find a sign that said "The tomatoes are gone". I wondered what the significance of this was only to find out there was none and the neighborhood cactus was just playing a joke. Anyway, I have some Papogalatchy homework to do! See Ya!

En Vacance

Yeah, so I went to this ice cream parlor, and they asked me, "so, do you want any more icecream". And I said "No". Then, this one guy from Toulouse comes in and says "Where did my pliers go", and then the ice cream guys dump over my table and my ice cream left. I am mad now. So then I asked, "Well, sir could I have another ice cream, sir". And then he screamed "I will polish them, you ninny". I left after that, actually I was forced to because the ice cream guy shoved a corn cobb stand in my face, looking for the pliers.

Moral of the story: Don't plant carrots in summer, they will turn stewy.

IMPORTANT!

I found a shell.